Adventures In Online Dating

Yes.  It is pathetic. *shrug*  Bite me.  I live way out here in the woods.

There is only so much Netflix can provide to keep me entertained.

The animals are great, but it's not like it's the LeftintheWoods Pet Show every night. You'd be surprised/shocked/amazed how entertaining/depressing/fascinating online dating can be.  

People are weird.

Of all the sites I've been on (and yes. shut up. I've been on them all to some extent) OkCupid is the most.....bizarre.    Okay, they are all really bizarre.  People are fucking weird.

So, there was this guy.  Nice enough.  Harmless in an; "I could absolutely cause him extreme physical harm if need be", sort of way.  He's all, "I'm so into nature and hiking to take photographs." (yay)  He mentioned once, perhaps several times, that he'd really like to come up here to visit.            

Finally, I invited him to hike the falls. 

Sure. 

A few days later I emailed directions. His response was that he had injured his foot in a motorcycle accident and couldn't "hike".  

Really? Are you okay? 

"Oh, yeah." he said, "it happened two years ago."  

Whaaaa?

red flag

Yep.  Dude arrives.  Fancy car.(I'll get to that later) 

Awkward hug (eew)

No water in the creek.

Dude can barely walk up the hill.

Wow, poor dude.

No hike, no walk down the lane.

Dude is painfully crippled.

So sorry.

Tea?

Guess I have to feed him...

Grilled cheese?

Me:  So, tell me about your job...

(I forgot to mention that dude is a taxman; for the IRS no less.)

Him:  Oh, well,  I've been on furlough for six months. 

It's June.  Six months ago it was January.  Who lays off an accountant in January?

red flag

Me:  Furlough?  I'm not sure I understand  (heh, yeah)  

Him:  The fed has no budget so I was laid off.

red flag

My head:  you must really suck at your job

He keeps talking...turns out he was also the treasurer of his home owner's association and there was some kind of row after the flood.   Next he said he was letting the bank take his condo 'cause he didn't want to live there anymore especially since he had only owned it a year and he wouldn't really loose anything.

Big, Giant Asshole Flag

Of course, by now it's becoming more and more difficult to hide my amusement....This guy actually thought he'd come up here to see if I'd ask him to move in.  ( that still cracks me up) 

Needless to say, he hobbled down the hill, got in his fancy (soon to be repossessed) car, and drove off into the sunset never to be heard of again.

Crossing

I am (finally) finished with work for the holidays. I have the next 10 days off and am thankful.

We had lots of rain yesterday.  Coming home was a bit terrifying.
The water at the first crossing was up to the headlights of the truck.
Luckily, my faithful Blue didn't stall out in the middle of the spring
or hit some giant rock that had been washed down.
At the next crossing, the water was so deep and muddy, I couldn't really see the outlines of the culvert.
Still I continued with bated breath and made that crossing without driving off into the spring.
With a sigh of relief, I parked the truck, pulled on my rubber boots, gathered up the two bags of groceries, and trudged on.
More fast, deep, and muddy water awaited at the final crossing.
One of the problems with that is that the water tends to wash gullies you can't see.
With stick in hand, I felt my way to step into the thigh high water.  Fast water is cold.
I thought I was going to be swept off my feet, but adrenaline kicked in and I made it across.
Knees shaking, I clambered up the hill.  Funny thing about boots full of water; they are extremely difficult to get off.  That, of course, made me laugh out loud.....

Today, I found the flying squirrel the cats and I chased around the cabin the other evening.  Eew.

On tomorrow's agenda: Go to Lowe's for more cans of "greatstuff" to spray into newly discovered mouse/squirrel holes.  I am determined to win this war.  The cats are exhausted from supervising the find the dead squirrel mission and both are piled up in front of the wood stove.  The pup, tired from his adventure crossing the much receded spring, is sleeping soundly.  

I left the city and moved to the woods almost 3 years ago. 
I’ve learned a lot living out here.  A 1” water feeder pipe freezes at 27degrees.  Wood is heavy.  Green wood; utterly useless….not even for the “goodnight” log.  You’ll never convince me otherwise.  That is, unless you do…  And, I really need a better system (shall we say, relatively safe) way of crossing the creek when I shouldn't;  but have to.  Knowing doesn’t necessarily commit to practice.  *sigh*…oh, and it really sucks when the water freezes.   

The cistern magically rolls uphill.

Thus:


The incredible giant cistern installation project!  
Whooooo-hoooooo!

Yeah, well...

My landlord purchased this giant (1100 gallon) cistern for the cabin, much to my surprise.  It survived the May Day flood of 2009 by floating into Annie's tree bed.   The succeeding flood, in August, almost sent it on it's way down the Cumberland.  Alas!  It's now "home".

Long time coming this project...

Let me introduce you to the first installment of wack.

Rodney:  cousin....in-law-ish?

Master Carpenter:  ummmm...not.

Lest we not leave out:  Uber Hunter!!!

Who wouldn't drive a mini van across a swollen creek ( that one could clearly wade across) to hunt the ever illusive (yeah, no) deer in the hollow?  Oh, did I say drive?  Hah.  Stuck.  Entire neighborhood event.  Stuck.  Pull up a lawn chair and watch the calamity.  Stuck....hee.

This dude built the original platform for the cistern.

Thus began the "everything you know is mostly wrong" project ....

But hey....The most marvelous hippies are here now.

It's a new project and it's going to be awesome.

....on ever so many levels!!!!