Excerpts

So, I gained some weight over the grey days.
It happens...
I stressed out about meeting someone I met online
In person.
Worried about his reaction.
I wonder:
If I am willing to lose weight,
Will he be willing to quit smoking?

They say a smoking habit is difficult to break
...but that's really not the point.

Is it?

Attraction is a powerful thing, it is.
What attracts me to another is looking into their eyes
and catching that glimpse of kindness in their heart.

I'm weird

I enjoy my own company;
Loving the freedom to do whatever I want,
Whenever.
My pets keep me company.
I'm happy.
So, why do I insist on trying to complicate my life?

Oh, yeah.
...that part about being weird.

*sigh*

Angry Weather

approaching storm

gathers 

strength

angry sighs

surrender

branches

wind chimes
working overtime
protest

nestled in the cabin
safe
cozy, comfy, warm
all the pets are gathered round
as we
await....

Florence

My grandmother died today.

Florence Giddings Foster, born 1908, Hilo, Hawaii.
She was the youngest of four.  They called her “Baby”.

My grandmother taught me how to sew, how to cook,
how to remove stains.  She taught me about roses and
how to make a bed…Her house was always immaculate.
I loved the way it smelled.

When we moved to Tennessee, she and my grandfather would come visit every other summer.They would stay for a month and I awaited their arrival with excited anticipation. My mother hated her.  That only made me love her more…

Florence lived on her own until she was almost 100.   She began to fall, tiny strokes the doctors said.  So, my dad moved her to complete assisted living where they drugged her into oblivion.  “It keeps her calm,” they said.  The few times I was able to visit, she would have lucid moments where she would take my hand, look into my eyes, and beg, “Help me.”

I am not a woman of faith.  I do not “believe”, but for the past three years, my mantra has been, “Let go Grandma.  Fly….”

It’s raining here tonight…the sky cries.

365: 4

Water in the spring was frozen more than an inch thick and still running under...

Best Laid Plans

I’m feeling a bit defeated today.  The frustration of defeat
makes me a bit weepy. The water is frozen.  I can’t wash
the dishes or more importantly take a shower.  My neighbors
tell me I can come shower at their houses anytime, “No big deal.”
But it is.  It’s a huge fuckin deal to me…I really thought
we’d solved this problem. *sigh*

So, today I’m feeling like I want to come “home”. Back to an
electric thermostat, hot and cold running water on demand…
What seems so crippling though, is the thought of looking for a job
in Nashville.  Compiling a stupid resume, kissing  ass, dealing
with ridiculous egos. Bleh.  I’m too old for that shit and my
disposition has grown more and more cantankerous.  I love
the fact that I can hide out here for days, weeks even, without
seeing another soul.  Perhaps it’s unhealthy.  So what?  I like it,
I’m happy…

Except when the water freezes and the fire goes out.

365: 2 & 3

The view from the water catch.
 It only takes one leaf to stop the flow of water to the cistern. Today, however, the water in the feed line was frozen.  Water splatter made icicles all around the catch pool; beautiful, but slightly treacherous.

Into The Night 2012

It’s dark out now, and cold.
Sparkly
Snow dust
Reflects.

Bellowing wind
Lifts corner porch tin
With thunderous sound effects.

Warm breath’s vapors
Float in to the night
Only to disappear
Without a sound.

…and as the owls call,
The bobcat cries.

365

So, I've decided to begin a 365 photo project today being that it's a New Year and all.   
We'll see how well that goes as I am basically pretty lazy.
Then there's that thing I have with routine...Suppose it to say I should look at this as a growing experience.  Perhaps, I'm looking at things all crabbed.  I could turn it around to be something I "get" to do every day, rather than "have" to.  Sounds really good on Day 1.  Right?  Problem is the past few days I've been out taking photos and coming home to hate them all.
The lighting is wrong, I don't like the way it's framed, the angle is off...blah, blah, blah.
Delete, delete, delete.
I think to myself, "I can capture that again in better light.
Maybe next time I'll be able to frame that better.
Stupid power lines..." You get the drift.

There's so much that happens out here on a daily basis that I marvel in but neglect to share with anyone. Take yesterday....I was splitting wood and kept hearing this kind of chirping.  "Damned flying squirrels.", I thought.   (I'm still trying to figure out where they are coming in) So, I looked along the eaves to see any signs of them.  Nothing.  *shrug*. A few more trips up the hill, a little more splitting.  Again with the chirping...hummm.... I have this antique ceiling tin hanging beside the kitchen door.  The sound was coming from behind.  Carefully, I lifted the tin out from the wall.  Low and behold, there were three bats hanging...and chirping.



Anyway, back to 365.  I wanted to post a photo of the phacelia I saw blooming along the spring or the daffodils that have poked their leaves out more than they should this time of year, but none of those came out well enough to post.  So.  *sigh*  I think I'll have to go with this.

Happy New Year from the Hollow.