I’m feeling a bit defeated today. The frustration of defeat
makes me a bit weepy. The water is frozen. I can’t wash
the dishes or more importantly take a shower. My neighbors
tell me I can come shower at their houses anytime, “No big deal.”
But it is. It’s a huge fuckin deal to me…I really thought
we’d solved this problem. *sigh*
So, today I’m feeling like I want to come “home”. Back to an
electric thermostat, hot and cold running water on demand…
What seems so crippling though, is the thought of looking for a job
in Nashville. Compiling a stupid resume, kissing ass, dealing
with ridiculous egos. Bleh. I’m too old for that shit and my
disposition has grown more and more cantankerous. I love
the fact that I can hide out here for days, weeks even, without
seeing another soul. Perhaps it’s unhealthy. So what? I like it,
I’m happy…
Except when the water freezes and the fire goes out.
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