Excerpts

So, I gained some weight over the grey days.
It happens...
I stressed out about meeting someone I met online
In person.
Worried about his reaction.
I wonder:
If I am willing to lose weight,
Will he be willing to quit smoking?

They say a smoking habit is difficult to break
...but that's really not the point.

Is it?

Attraction is a powerful thing, it is.
What attracts me to another is looking into their eyes
and catching that glimpse of kindness in their heart.

I'm weird

I enjoy my own company;
Loving the freedom to do whatever I want,
Whenever.
My pets keep me company.
I'm happy.
So, why do I insist on trying to complicate my life?

Oh, yeah.
...that part about being weird.

*sigh*

Angry Weather

approaching storm

gathers 

strength

angry sighs

surrender

branches

wind chimes
working overtime
protest

nestled in the cabin
safe
cozy, comfy, warm
all the pets are gathered round
as we
await....

Florence

My grandmother died today.

Florence Giddings Foster, born 1908, Hilo, Hawaii.
She was the youngest of four.  They called her “Baby”.

My grandmother taught me how to sew, how to cook,
how to remove stains.  She taught me about roses and
how to make a bed…Her house was always immaculate.
I loved the way it smelled.

When we moved to Tennessee, she and my grandfather would come visit every other summer.They would stay for a month and I awaited their arrival with excited anticipation. My mother hated her.  That only made me love her more…

Florence lived on her own until she was almost 100.   She began to fall, tiny strokes the doctors said.  So, my dad moved her to complete assisted living where they drugged her into oblivion.  “It keeps her calm,” they said.  The few times I was able to visit, she would have lucid moments where she would take my hand, look into my eyes, and beg, “Help me.”

I am not a woman of faith.  I do not “believe”, but for the past three years, my mantra has been, “Let go Grandma.  Fly….”

It’s raining here tonight…the sky cries.

365: 4

Water in the spring was frozen more than an inch thick and still running under...

Best Laid Plans

I’m feeling a bit defeated today.  The frustration of defeat
makes me a bit weepy. The water is frozen.  I can’t wash
the dishes or more importantly take a shower.  My neighbors
tell me I can come shower at their houses anytime, “No big deal.”
But it is.  It’s a huge fuckin deal to me…I really thought
we’d solved this problem. *sigh*

So, today I’m feeling like I want to come “home”. Back to an
electric thermostat, hot and cold running water on demand…
What seems so crippling though, is the thought of looking for a job
in Nashville.  Compiling a stupid resume, kissing  ass, dealing
with ridiculous egos. Bleh.  I’m too old for that shit and my
disposition has grown more and more cantankerous.  I love
the fact that I can hide out here for days, weeks even, without
seeing another soul.  Perhaps it’s unhealthy.  So what?  I like it,
I’m happy…

Except when the water freezes and the fire goes out.

365: 2 & 3

The view from the water catch.
 It only takes one leaf to stop the flow of water to the cistern. Today, however, the water in the feed line was frozen.  Water splatter made icicles all around the catch pool; beautiful, but slightly treacherous.

Into The Night 2012

It’s dark out now, and cold.
Sparkly
Snow dust
Reflects.

Bellowing wind
Lifts corner porch tin
With thunderous sound effects.

Warm breath’s vapors
Float in to the night
Only to disappear
Without a sound.

…and as the owls call,
The bobcat cries.

365

So, I've decided to begin a 365 photo project today being that it's a New Year and all.   
We'll see how well that goes as I am basically pretty lazy.
Then there's that thing I have with routine...Suppose it to say I should look at this as a growing experience.  Perhaps, I'm looking at things all crabbed.  I could turn it around to be something I "get" to do every day, rather than "have" to.  Sounds really good on Day 1.  Right?  Problem is the past few days I've been out taking photos and coming home to hate them all.
The lighting is wrong, I don't like the way it's framed, the angle is off...blah, blah, blah.
Delete, delete, delete.
I think to myself, "I can capture that again in better light.
Maybe next time I'll be able to frame that better.
Stupid power lines..." You get the drift.

There's so much that happens out here on a daily basis that I marvel in but neglect to share with anyone. Take yesterday....I was splitting wood and kept hearing this kind of chirping.  "Damned flying squirrels.", I thought.   (I'm still trying to figure out where they are coming in) So, I looked along the eaves to see any signs of them.  Nothing.  *shrug*. A few more trips up the hill, a little more splitting.  Again with the chirping...hummm.... I have this antique ceiling tin hanging beside the kitchen door.  The sound was coming from behind.  Carefully, I lifted the tin out from the wall.  Low and behold, there were three bats hanging...and chirping.



Anyway, back to 365.  I wanted to post a photo of the phacelia I saw blooming along the spring or the daffodils that have poked their leaves out more than they should this time of year, but none of those came out well enough to post.  So.  *sigh*  I think I'll have to go with this.

Happy New Year from the Hollow.

Adventures In Online Dating

Yes.  It is pathetic. *shrug*  Bite me.  I live way out here in the woods.

There is only so much Netflix can provide to keep me entertained.

The animals are great, but it's not like it's the LeftintheWoods Pet Show every night. You'd be surprised/shocked/amazed how entertaining/depressing/fascinating online dating can be.  

People are weird.

Of all the sites I've been on (and yes. shut up. I've been on them all to some extent) OkCupid is the most.....bizarre.    Okay, they are all really bizarre.  People are fucking weird.

So, there was this guy.  Nice enough.  Harmless in an; "I could absolutely cause him extreme physical harm if need be", sort of way.  He's all, "I'm so into nature and hiking to take photographs." (yay)  He mentioned once, perhaps several times, that he'd really like to come up here to visit.            

Finally, I invited him to hike the falls. 

Sure. 

A few days later I emailed directions. His response was that he had injured his foot in a motorcycle accident and couldn't "hike".  

Really? Are you okay? 

"Oh, yeah." he said, "it happened two years ago."  

Whaaaa?

red flag

Yep.  Dude arrives.  Fancy car.(I'll get to that later) 

Awkward hug (eew)

No water in the creek.

Dude can barely walk up the hill.

Wow, poor dude.

No hike, no walk down the lane.

Dude is painfully crippled.

So sorry.

Tea?

Guess I have to feed him...

Grilled cheese?

Me:  So, tell me about your job...

(I forgot to mention that dude is a taxman; for the IRS no less.)

Him:  Oh, well,  I've been on furlough for six months. 

It's June.  Six months ago it was January.  Who lays off an accountant in January?

red flag

Me:  Furlough?  I'm not sure I understand  (heh, yeah)  

Him:  The fed has no budget so I was laid off.

red flag

My head:  you must really suck at your job

He keeps talking...turns out he was also the treasurer of his home owner's association and there was some kind of row after the flood.   Next he said he was letting the bank take his condo 'cause he didn't want to live there anymore especially since he had only owned it a year and he wouldn't really loose anything.

Big, Giant Asshole Flag

Of course, by now it's becoming more and more difficult to hide my amusement....This guy actually thought he'd come up here to see if I'd ask him to move in.  ( that still cracks me up) 

Needless to say, he hobbled down the hill, got in his fancy (soon to be repossessed) car, and drove off into the sunset never to be heard of again.

Crossing

I am (finally) finished with work for the holidays. I have the next 10 days off and am thankful.

We had lots of rain yesterday.  Coming home was a bit terrifying.
The water at the first crossing was up to the headlights of the truck.
Luckily, my faithful Blue didn't stall out in the middle of the spring
or hit some giant rock that had been washed down.
At the next crossing, the water was so deep and muddy, I couldn't really see the outlines of the culvert.
Still I continued with bated breath and made that crossing without driving off into the spring.
With a sigh of relief, I parked the truck, pulled on my rubber boots, gathered up the two bags of groceries, and trudged on.
More fast, deep, and muddy water awaited at the final crossing.
One of the problems with that is that the water tends to wash gullies you can't see.
With stick in hand, I felt my way to step into the thigh high water.  Fast water is cold.
I thought I was going to be swept off my feet, but adrenaline kicked in and I made it across.
Knees shaking, I clambered up the hill.  Funny thing about boots full of water; they are extremely difficult to get off.  That, of course, made me laugh out loud.....

Today, I found the flying squirrel the cats and I chased around the cabin the other evening.  Eew.

On tomorrow's agenda: Go to Lowe's for more cans of "greatstuff" to spray into newly discovered mouse/squirrel holes.  I am determined to win this war.  The cats are exhausted from supervising the find the dead squirrel mission and both are piled up in front of the wood stove.  The pup, tired from his adventure crossing the much receded spring, is sleeping soundly.  

I left the city and moved to the woods almost 3 years ago. 
I’ve learned a lot living out here.  A 1” water feeder pipe freezes at 27degrees.  Wood is heavy.  Green wood; utterly useless….not even for the “goodnight” log.  You’ll never convince me otherwise.  That is, unless you do…  And, I really need a better system (shall we say, relatively safe) way of crossing the creek when I shouldn't;  but have to.  Knowing doesn’t necessarily commit to practice.  *sigh*…oh, and it really sucks when the water freezes.   

The cistern magically rolls uphill.

Thus:


The incredible giant cistern installation project!  
Whooooo-hoooooo!

Yeah, well...

My landlord purchased this giant (1100 gallon) cistern for the cabin, much to my surprise.  It survived the May Day flood of 2009 by floating into Annie's tree bed.   The succeeding flood, in August, almost sent it on it's way down the Cumberland.  Alas!  It's now "home".

Long time coming this project...

Let me introduce you to the first installment of wack.

Rodney:  cousin....in-law-ish?

Master Carpenter:  ummmm...not.

Lest we not leave out:  Uber Hunter!!!

Who wouldn't drive a mini van across a swollen creek ( that one could clearly wade across) to hunt the ever illusive (yeah, no) deer in the hollow?  Oh, did I say drive?  Hah.  Stuck.  Entire neighborhood event.  Stuck.  Pull up a lawn chair and watch the calamity.  Stuck....hee.

This dude built the original platform for the cistern.

Thus began the "everything you know is mostly wrong" project ....

But hey....The most marvelous hippies are here now.

It's a new project and it's going to be awesome.

....on ever so many levels!!!!

Falling

Brightly colored leaves
Release
And float like dreams
Set free.
And as they
Wash the landscape
In autumn’s russet pallet;
My thoughts drift.
Floating
On a dream
…to you

Exile

Solitude
Self imposed
Has taken hold
Securely rooted
In terra firma
I cannot seem
To leave

Ode....

Oh to dive
Into the
Deep, deep
Pool of
Your eyes
Submerge
Myself
Completely
Irrevocably
Lost
Swimming
In ecstasy

Perseverance

Out of wood
Out of money
Prospects grim
Frozen fortress
I am captive

Whisky in my coffee
Oven on for heat
Turning up the music
The dancing keeps
Me warm